Do you think about how to become a leader? Have you heard that saying, “How we do anything is how we do everything?” For years I didn’t understand it – until I started working with clients who wanted to perform better in their career or improve their parenting skills. I quickly noticed that often what we say we believe in (our values) don’t match up with our behaviors. Here are a few examples.
Statement:
I know time is important and I value everyone’s time.
Behavior:
Constantly being 5 to 15 minutes late meeting friends, family members, or children.
Statement:
I really want to move up in my career.
Behavior:
Taking sick leave to get a “mental health day” or doing exactly what is asked by a boss but absolutely nothing more.
Statement:
I’d love to own my own business.
Behavior:
Staying in a job for the benefits and paycheck and believing fully that is your only option.
To become a leader for yourself and others means monitoring your behaviors toward yourself and toward others. Here’s a list of behaviors that block our ability to be a leader.
- Not keeping your word – saying you will do something and then never getting around to it.
- Keeping others waiting past an agreed meeting time
- Being defensive if someone calls you out on something you didn’t do
- Hiding your mistakes
- Doing just what is required and no more, never completely finishing a job
- Blaming others when things don’t work out
- Living such that others constantly have to remind you to get things done
TIP: If you are complaining about any of these behaviors in your children, take a look at your own behaviors. Children will model what they see.
Here’s a quote from Warren Buffet that I just love. “Everybody here has the ability to do anything I do and much beyond. Some of you will, and some of you won’t. For those who won’t, it will be because you get in your own way, not because the world doesn’t allow you to.”
To be a leader for your life means being responsible, no matter what, day to day. Pick one thing you know needs improvement within yourself, and go from there. People will notice, and your life will change.
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