If you live long enough, you'll face a time when grief and loss overwhelm you. One of my long-time business mentors received a terrible shock. His oldest son, who was in his late 40's, was found dead in his car at the side of the interstate. The son and his family live far away, across the country from my mentor. Apparently, his son had started feeling bad while driving, pulled over, called his wife to say he'd be OK but felt bad and had pulled over for a moment. Later, he was found dead in his car. When something happens to us that is without warning, totally unexpected, and is as final as death we react with shock and disbelief. We … [Read more...]
How To Become A Leader For Yourself and Others
Do you think about how to become a leader? Have you heard that saying, "How we do anything is how we do everything?" For years I didn't understand it - until I started working with clients who wanted to perform better in their career or improve their parenting skills. I quickly noticed that often what we say we believe in (our values) don't match up with our behaviors. Here are a few examples. Statement: I know time is important and I value everyone's time. Behavior: Constantly being 5 to 15 minutes late meeting friends, family members, or children. Statement: I really want to move up in my career. Behavior: Taking sick leave to … [Read more...]
Be a Leader By Taking More Time For Yourself
Somehow, we've come to think that to be a leader we have to never take care of our own body and soul. Americans have fallen into the belief that going without vacations, personal retreats, and down time is the thing to do. I've heard hundreds of my clients proudly tell me they "give up vacation time every year" or "can't get away from business" or "work 60 hours a week." They puff out their chest and feel virtuous. They think "I'll be a leader" and believe they are setting an example for others in a good way. They are hard workers and proud of it! A recent article in Forbes states "The United States is the only advanced economy that does … [Read more...]
10 Ways to #StartAChange
At the New Year, the hashtag #startachange was trending on Twitter. Here are my top ten tips for being the leader of your life by starting a change for yourself right now. You can follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/suepainter1. 5 minutes of meditation or prayer before you get out of bed in the morning. Greet everyone as if they are your dearest friend. Name 3 blessings in your life as you drink your morning coffee. Stretch from head to toe before you go to sleep. Where you have fear, ask yourself how to replace fear with love. Do that. Reach out to someone you'd really like to meet. Smile at everyone, including … [Read more...]
Do Rules Work?
One of my own mentors, Paul Evans, sent a quote to me the other day that's good to think about. "When values conflict with behaviors and behaviors conflict with values we make rules." I've been concerned for a decade now about the increasing jungle of rules and prohibitions placed upon us - adults and children. I can't tell the difference anymore between a picture of a prison and a picture of a public school. Both are often encircled by fencing and barbed wire. I can't think that this is good for the spirits of our children. Fear doesn't facilitate learning. There's a quote from the Tao te Ching that goes like this, "The more prohibitions … [Read more...]
